The reviews looked great! Critics couldn't say enough! I thought it would be a Star Trek quality movie (which I took my wife to see and she loved). We arrived on opening weekend, paid full price (we usually buy restricted discount tickets from AAA), and, AND... we watched a documentary! Well, it looked like a documentary!
Starring no one, slow to develop, extremely tedious and depressing are the nicest things I can say about the first hour of this movie. The main character is a likable, funny looking fellow whose name I still can't pronounce. The special effects, I must admit, are believable to the extent that you are taken into the movie world. When you are watching an effects heavy movie and forget you're watching effects you have to give credit!
The last 20 or 30 minutes of the film have some awesome battle scenes with super cool alien weapons. If only they could have made the rest of the movie as awesome. We saw seven people leave the movie within the first hour!
Since I hauled my wife to this disaster, I was informed that I owed her a chick flick! She wanted to see Julie and Julia (YIKES) but I lobbied hard and we compomised on seeing The Time Traveler's Wife. I was prepared to suffer through my hour and a half of spousal redemption when... SURPRISE! I actually enjoyed the show. It wasn't my favorite but it wasn't bad. I almost felt guilty at enjoying my pentance!
So beware the hyped super movie and don't always fear the apparent chick flick! I also recently watched The Proposal and I didn't hate it either! Am I getting soft in my old age?
In a bid to fight "climate change" and in light of recent developments, the White House has decided to eliminate toilet paper from its restrooms. It appears that the press, especially NBC and MSNBC, were already doing such a good job of brown nosing and other forms of "posterior cleansing" for Obama and his administration that it will now fall on them to do the job full time.
Reporters have responded positively noting that not much will change. "Fewer trees will be cut down and fewer chemicals will be released into the environment to process the paper. We are already doing the job, they just eliminated the waste and are finally taking advantage of the new realities in this glorious new kingdo.... I mean administration," noted a White house reporter.
Fears of disease and pathogens were quickly dismissed as "tools of the vast right wing conspiracy," only being used to deter worshipers... uhm, the press, from showing their full devotion to their glorious leader. Members of congress are debating a bill which would require a poster of Obama be installed in every restroom in America to encourage citizens to clean each other in the spirit of this new "movement." Experts agree that this new initiative could cool global temperatures by .003 degrees centigrate over the next 3,ooo years (the forseen time to pay off upcoming stimulus packages).
Republicans, not to be left out, recommended using Polar Bear fur to replace toilet paper in the White House. A republican spokesperson asserted, "We know you like to think that his "blank" don't stank, but the polar bear fur is durable enough to provide evidence that Obama is indeed mortal, tangible, and stankable." The spokesperson was stoned where he stood but a blood soaked "Hope and Change" pamphlet containing a hand written account of the incident was smuggled out of the carnage and provided to this news service.
In other news, Sheryl Crow has been appointed to the EPA. The first item on her agenda is to pass the new 1 to pee 2 to poop law. This law regulates the amount of toilet paper consumed by only allowing you the same number of sheets of toilet paper as the number of the business you are doing. So you get 1 sheet for number 1, 2 sheets for number 2, and 3 if you have to do both at once.
A few of her colleagues have argued that the law will be counterproductive due to the increased amount of water and electricity that will be required to clean streak marks from underwear. Obama has declared that this law has no time for debate promising Armageddon type destruction if it is not passed immediately. "When you elected me as your President, you voted for hope over fear. I'm here to tell you that if we don't pass this law straightaway, with zero debate, that there will be no hope for any of you. There will only be the fear of the inevitable destruction that all of you will face. We're not talking about a dead polar bear or two. We're talking about 4 horsemen of the apocalypse kind of destruction! So pass this bill right now or life will be as described in Revelation where all of us will seek for death and not be able to find it." Not one to sit on his laurels, Obama plans to follow this with the "if it's yellow let it mellow" law.
So I have been tagged to fess up to my quirks.I learned many years ago that there is no such thing as “normal” but some quirks are more un-normal than others.
My biggest quirk is that I can snap my fingers really fast, and I mean fast!I snap my left hand first then my right hand and then I make a hollow fist with my right hand and use it to hit my open left hand and repeat the cycle.I saw this trick in a movie when I was in 7th or 8th grade (it was an old black and white movie) where a genie (played by the same actor who played the original Curly on the Three Stooges) would do this when he granted a wish.I started practicing it and got really good at it.Maybe one day I will use it to become a famous actor or a genie.
My second quirk is that I hate going to bed.I stay up way too late every night and don’t want to wake up the next day.Lately I go to bed around 1:30 am and wake up around 7:30 am.I don’t recommend this habit and wish I could break it. I wish I had the same desire to sleep at bedtime that I have when I wake up.
My third quirk is shared with my brothers in that we never forget embarrassing things said or done by others.We also remember plenty of tv and movie quotes and use them very frequently.Some examples are: “They’re great, Frank (said nervously while tasting food),”“TV said that?” “You tried but you failed miserably; the lesson is… Never Try,”“Tennessee has a Jeep,” “Jim, it’s me, I’m your friend,” “Maybe if you lost some weight you wouldn’t be so depressed (said to me by my wife as mentioned in a previous blog),” and so many others.If these don’t make sense or seem funny then join the crowds of others who don’t know what we’re talking about when we three brothers are together.
Number four, Hmm.Well, I do wear the same clothes almost all of the time.Don’t get me wrong, I don’t wear the SAME clothes everyday I just have multiple copies of the same clothes; a blue polo type shirt, khaki pats, a brown belt and suede type work boots.Dressing the same sure makes life easier!Of course Saturdays and Sundays come along and I have to choose other stuff; like a different color polo type shirt or what tie to wear with a white Sunday shirt.Every so often I even wear sneakers but so infrequently that I once kept a pair for about 7 years and they looked great.
And finally I always have some cherry Chap Stick in my front left pocket.I guess I am addicted to it.If I were marooned on a dessert island that would be my one must have item.I have yet to find a support group to overcome this addiction so I may invent a 12 step program.I guess step 12 would be, “parched, painfully dry lips are a sign of your victory!”
I also file everything, constantly adjust my rear view mirror, am a super neat freak (my kids make sure nothing is neat so I have learned to live with this somewhat), procrastinate working on hard projects, hate to commit to most anything, and am miserable to live with if I don’t have a certain amount of time all by myself everyday.I would read the Wall Street Journal cover to cover every day if I had time and I love yard work (there are days I would prefer doing yard work to going fishing).
I do work for myself so maybe I am lying! But if I had an employee that acted like me these last few week I would fire him/her. I am sitting at my work desk with heaps to do and not accomplishing anything. I am in a deep funk that is hard to explain.
Could it be the lost election? No, I felt like this before the election. I am surprised at Yahoo's headline story calling Obama the "First Global President." Does that mean that we have to lower our standards to be like the rest of the world? The rest of the world should be more like the USA and not the other way around. I lived out of country for two years and can attest to the greatness of this country. No, we are not perfect but we are the best thing going. We don't need to lean any more towards socialism than we already do. The government shouldn't be responsible for bailing out companies or individuals who made stupid investment decisions. If they had made good decisions and made lots of money would they have given that profit to the taxpayers? And never forget that we finance the government with our taxes so we are paying for idiots who got into too much debt.
Back to this funk I am in. It is not the good kind of funk like on the Soul Train where you dance really cool and wear trendy clothes. I am just plain tired. Years back my wife told me, "maybe if you lost some weight you wouldn't be so depressed." That has been a running joke ever since. There was context to the conversation that makes it easy to understand why she said that but the context takes away from the humor so I won't include it.
I think my wife was right! I am getting chunky. When I got married in 1997 I weighed 155 lbs. Now I am up to 225 lbs. Don't get me wrong, I was a bit too skinny way back when, but when I was 175 lbs I was in my prime. I have a goal to get back to 175 lbs but I am not doing much to accomplish it. The main reason I started this blog was to start an exercise habit and keep up with my weight in a public forum. However limited my readership may be at least my far away relatives and a few friends will be able to see if I do anything about it.
So here it goes, today I am 225 lbs (according to my home scale which shall be my reference), and I wear a size 38 waist.
Wish me luck. I will see about adding some pictures if I can fit into one frame ;-)
Even Dr. Evil only wanted $100 billion to keep from destroying the world. Our treasury secretary wants 7 times that much or the economy will be destroyed!
What are some other options? I recommend this link:
Even without a degree in economics I didn't buy into the Beanie Baby craze of a few years back. Before that it was the Internet Bubble, the Cabbage Patch Doll Craze and way before that it was the Tulip Craze (google it). Now my tax dollars are needed to bail out some dodgy paper on Wall Street. How did this happen? Why did this happen?
I'm not qualified to explain all the technicalities though I am begining to understand it. Just like Beanie Babies, people thought (or at least acted like they thought) home prices would go up forever. Beanie Baby prices went up only as long as someone else was willing to pay more for a stupid teddy bear with a tag on its ear. When it got to the point that people weren't willing to pay more for stupid bears then prices quit rising.
Let's say that a Beanie Babies investor borrowed money to buy a house full of these multicolored sundry animals hoping to resell them for a profit. When no one wanted them anymore, or wanted them but thought they were too expensive, the MARKET for beanie babies crashed. Our investor owed money so she tried to sell them for what she paid, but she had paid more than anyone else was willing to pay. Now she was stuck with unwanted inventory of stuffed animals and a bunch of debt. BEANIE BABY BANKRUPTCY!
Back to houses; peoples incomes weren't increasing at the rate of home prices. So prices got higher and higher until people realized they couldn't afford to buy them. Many people who had already bought houses realized they couldn't make the payments especially if they had adjustable interest rates. Whose fault was it? Anyone who borrowed more than they could reasonably afford AND any stupid lender backed by Wall Street that would lend them the money.
The government did its part to contribute to the mess by requiring that loans be given to unqualified borrowers while they (the government) promised to pay back the money when unqualified borrowers couldn't make their payments. Wake up folks, the government gets its money, not to mention its "just powers from the consent of the governed (Declaration of Independence)." That means our tax dollars will bail out the deadbeats, many of whom don't pay any taxes.
Our individual choices all add up to the bigger picture. We all need to practice self retraint and intellectual honesty with ourselves when going into debt for a house, a car, beanie babies, or tulips. Some mistakes will be make if we live this way but they won't add up to trillions of dollars in debt and a potential economic depression.
If you have listened to the radio or watched late night television at all in the last 20 years then you must know that working from home is THE THING to do. It's so great that you should send some money to the infomercial guy to show you how to do it!
What infomercial guy didn't tell you about working from home is that work never seems to end. Sure, you can work in your pajamas and that sounds great! It also means that soon you begin to associate wearing pajamas to being at work. Not to mention: eating, showering, watching television, reading, sleeping; they all become associated with work. In fact, work seems to never go away and soon you hate being at home because that is where all that golly dander work is waiting for you.
I have been a small business owner for almost seven years and I worked out of my home until January of this year. I now have a very small office and it is GREAT! Infomercial guy should have a program that teaches us work at home folks about getting the heck out of your house to go to work! "Are you tired of working from home where the work never seems to end? Then rent an office and walk away from work when the work is done! Or walk away from work when you are tired of working! Now the couch is for relaxing, not taking business calls! The kitchen table is for meals, not of piles of blueprints, bills and invoices! You won't get ulcers every time the phone rings, just ignore it! Call now and pay $19.95 for our guide on How to Rent an Office, CALL NOW!!!"
Being Self Employed is no magic bullet to success and happiness either but I will save that one for later.
